A Short Essay

Absolutes in a Dog's Life
by Oscar West

1. Someone will always feed me breakfast (even if they don't do it until 10:30 am).
2. If someone pulls out a sunhat and sneakers, or even maybe sneakers alone, I'm going outside soon.
3. When the human dinner is free of onions, chocolate, macadamias, and raisins, I will get a taste.
4. If the doorbell rings, I will let you know.
5. When a human mows the backyard lawn, I get to help. After all, the family that works together plays together.
6. If it is storming outside, I will bark loudly and repeatedly to protect my home.
7. If you have food, I want it.
8. I'm the biggest, meanest dog on the block, and don't you forget it.