What's Next? Drinkin' and Drugin'?

Jack (4): Please give us money (holding out his pirate hat). We're having a party.

Allie (5): What kind of party?

Jack: Just a party.

Allie (with a sneer): What are you going to do at your party? Eat meat? Smoke?

Current Record: 1-2-4

Recently Found
One bottle of Goo Gone

Permanently(?) Lost
Two credit cards
One eyelash comb

Temporarily Lost
One ID card
One eyelash comb
One fingerless glove
Two winter hats

Found!

Sitting at my desk at 2:40 pm, bemoaning the fact that a banana had done nothing to ease my hunger pangs, I remembered I had some prunes in the fridge. Turns out, I also had pizza in the fridge!

Hunger Pangs, see ya. Hello, happy tummy.

Fill in the Blanks

It is ______ o'clock on a __________. It is _______________. I need to _____________________ but I _______________.

Instead, I would rather __________________.

Watch Out, Rachael, or, Accomplishments

Recent Accomplishments

Made it to work on a Monday without once thinking about how I didn't want to go to work.

Almost made it through the Thanksgiving dishes (yes, I know this is disgusting).

Made a leftover turkey casserole. No recipe. All from my head. Quite tasty. If you know me, you know this is QUITE an accomplishment.

Did not eat a fast-food lunch today (baked oatmeal. yum!).

Sophie's Choice

If you could only have one of these two for the rest of your life, which would it be?

1. chocolate

2. cheese

Adage Proved?

I decided to do a Thanksgiving roll run-through today. The rolls are in the oven rising and I have a stomach ache.

Perhaps eating raw dough really DOES give you worms!


------------
image: W. H. Comstock, Proprietor. (nd). Comstock's dead shot pellets for worms [card]. Advertising Ephemera Collection - Database #A0383. Emergence of Advertising On-Line Project. John W. Hartman Center for Sales, Advertising & Marketing History. Duke University Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collections Library. http://library.duke.edu/digitalcollections/eaa.A0383/

Don't Let the _____ Bite

My family knows how sensitive I am to insect bites. When my topical quadruple remedy fails (Hydrocortisone, Benadryl, Aspercreme & Solarcaine), I resort to ice packs and oral Benadryl. So you can perhaps imagine my distress when after a couple of weeks of bites on my legs appearing in the middle of the night, I started to suspect the dreaded bedbug.

After a couple of sleepless nights and a marathon laundering session, I am happy to report that the culprit appears to be fleas. Yeah, still not great, and I have to spray my legs with OFF! before I go to bed, but much better than bedbugs. Mr. Pest Man will be out next week to eradicate the fleas along with any resident crickets and spiders.


------------
photo: Carrollton Chemical Company. (nd). Death dust kills all insects [booklet]. Advertising Ephemera Collection - Database #A0488. Emergence of Advertising On-Line Project. John W. Hartman Center for Sales, Advertising & Marketing History. Duke University Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collections Library. http://library.duke.edu/digitalcollections/eaa.A0488/

What Happened?

Where Has Auntie K Been?

Sick Leave

Dear MTSU Library,

I will not be at work tomorrow. Your new professionally-voiced closing announcement literally scared the liver out of me when it aired at 11:30 pm from a speaker directly over my desk at 115 dB.

When I find my liver, I may be back.

Sincerely,

Auntie K

You Know It's Bad When...

I've fallen into the disconcerting habit of being unable to leave the public library empty handed.

After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes and inspecting the same new books I inspected on my last visit, I walked out with PHP: The Good Parts. Nonfiction, so it would help even the balance of power on my reading list, but not exactly riveting reading. The only plus is that it's a brand new copy, so it doesn't smell like stale tobacco smoke and it doesn't have scary stains on the inside.

Expired

Dear Auntie K,

If I find a bag of pretzels in my desk drawer that have a "guaranteed fresh" date of 6 months ago, is it safe to eat them?

Sincerely,

Hungry and Unorganized

Red Letter Day

Here is another thing I did Saturday--I found the desktop!

How I Spent Saturday Night

Sunday's Primary lesson is on being an example. In order to involve a student who is autistic, I have been illustrating some of the lessons with comic panes (he will usually pay attention if something has word bubbles). This week, I drew and scanned several figures and then assembled everything in Word. Not the most efficient method, but perhaps legible than my 100% freehand attempts.

(You'll need to click on each pane to see it in large format)

Drawing a Blank

I know at least one reader of this space eagerly checks for a new post every time she goes online. Sorry, in yet another way, to be a disappointment, but I'm drawing quite a blank of late.

Do you ever catch cold, lose your sense of taste, and fear it will never return? Or hit a reading slump and fear that you'll never find another good book to read? Well, I sort of feel that way in relation to the blog. What if I never have anything interesting, clever, or original to say again?

I do have a few mundane updates to give, which I'll save for another post, but other than that, it truly is the dog days of summer around here--hot enough to make you pant and hang your tongue out, and busy enough to make you work like a dog.

How I Spent Last Week

I would like to tell you I spent my week making this super cute rag quilt. However, that would be a bald-faced lie. I did, however, spend one pleasant evening watching Mansfield Park and The Secret Life of Mrs. Beeton while I clipped all the seams (still not sure what I think about the movies, but the quilt is certainly a winner).

If you would like your own quilt, you can see some wonderfully clear instructions at she wears flowers. Or perhaps, you could visit she wears flowers' Etsy shop and ask if you could buy a rag quilt there.

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For those readers who don't know, Auntie K is famous for being interested in and reading LOTS about different hobbies and skills, such as baking, knitting, quilting, running, candymaking, etc. K usually falls down at the application stage, but she enjoys dreaming. Right now, she's dreaming (obviously) about sewing. The dreaming sometimes bleeds into the supplies stage of application. Thus, K just purchased some yummy fabric to make a tunic (here's the accent), T just gifted her the most beautiful fabric ever for a skirt, and K is racking her brain to decide how she could best use this perfectly lovely Alexander Henry for something smashing.

Isn't dreaming fun?

Redirect

Anyone who knows or has heard of my youngest niece A (not to be confused with the oldest niece A or the middle niece A (my family likes names that start with A)), should check out this photo at she wears flowers. It's classic A, her personality captured in a single photo.

And, you can read about some really clever, cute project while you're at it!

TMI

To the man boy in the McDonald's line today:

The world really doesn't need or want to see your grey boxer-briefs and skinny thighs through the huge holes in your skinny white jeans. The punk-rocker hair and bracelets aren't my style either, but at least they aren't offensive.

Thanks,

Auntie K





photo: Siegel, Arthur S. (1943). Point Pleasant, West Virginia. Long underwear of a river boatman hanging out on a line. Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, FSA-OWI Collection, [LC-USW3-029882-E DLC]. Available from American Memory at http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/fsaall:@field(NUMBER+@band(fsa+8d30057)).

How I Spent My Morning

Better Late than Never

I watched the nephews Friday and Saturday while the rest of the family concentrated on moving-in activities. Despite all the fun we had, including dumping buckets of water on our heads in the backyard, feeding a sippy cup to the ducks at Murfree Spring, playing on several playgrounds and visiting the Patterson Park pool, the only photos I took were in car over the shoulder shots on the way to drop the boys at their new home.

L likes to smile for the camera. Here's one of his more natural grins.

I could have shot off a cannon in front of J and he wouldn't have noticed. Cars had all his attention.

Feeling the Love

If you're feeling unloved and unwanted, volunteer to teach the 5 year olds' Primary class, and then take a two week vacation. Sunday, after a two week absence, I received no less than 5 hugs from the 3 girls in my class. The one boy in class didn't offer me a hug, but he did smile as he walked past me in the chapel.

Party Food

For your next party, or perhaps just for your next snack, consider this spread/dip I made Saturday:

Orange Pecan Cream Cheese Spread

Combine in a bowl and mix until smooth:

• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 3/4 C finely chopped toasted pecans
• 1/4 C orange marmalade (I used closer to 1/3 cup)
  
• 1/4 tsp salt

This is the first recipe from The Joy of Cooking 75th Anniversary Edition that's actually turned out for me. This tastes best on Ritz crackers.

Fast

No, not fast as in the adjective, but as in the verb. I'm on a chocolate/fast food fast for the next month. I can't add sugar to that, because then I'd have to give up Zotz (thanks, B!).

Where I've Been

Most readers know, but I've been too busy (and tired) to blog lately. Last week I spent Sunday afternoon through Thursday at Cub Scout Day Camp. Three words of description are hot, hot, hot.

If I go next year, I'll know many things to do differently, including:

• wear sunscreen on my hands (they look very old with a tan)
• borrow a REAL pop-up canopy rather than a tarp with stakes, free-standing poles, and rope
• take a backpack water bag (already bought one)
• start making nametags earlier than Saturday night

I spent Saturday through Tuesday traveling to and from, and having a lovely time, in beautiful (and beautifully cool) San Diego. I didn't take any pictures, but you can look at Whitney's pictures for a small taste of my trip (though I didn't stay at a hotel, shop, visit the Mormon Battalion Historic Site, or eat churros). But I did experience an earthquake and I had a great time with Brooke and Shanna, as well as seeing (uncle) Burton and Janiece and various husbands and children of the cousins.

Reciprocal

When someone says that being around me makes her want to be a better person, it makes me want to be a better person. So, thank you S!

Body Farm West

A few of my relatives (well, maybe one) are perhaps envious that I live relatively close to the famed Body Farm, where Dr. William Bass and his colleagues observe and record the effects of decay on dead bodies.

I'm thinking about starting my own Body Farm. I would call it Body Farm West, since I'm West of Knoxville. Let me describe how I acquired the first specimen.

Perhaps unwisely, I only venture into the back yard once a week. When I come home at night, I do check the back door and shed door, but that's about it. Monday, I went into the yard to retrieve the garden hose. On the steps to the sliding door, I saw several large bird feathers, lots of goo, and various flies and maggots. I'm sure you can guess what that was all about. It had shown up sometime in the preceding ten days, after the last time I mowed the back yard. The smell, I might add, was horrendous.

I promptly retrieved the hose and left the yard. I went back yesterday. The amount of goo had decreased, and a bird skull and several bones were now evident. I covered the whole mess with cat litter and am hoping that if I ignore it for a while, it will all go away. If not, maybe I can start a new career as a forensic anthropologist. I'm sure many bird owners out there would be grateful for my contributions to the science.

Q is for ?

Why is the word Quebec so hard to remember?

When I can't sleep at night I recite various texts from memory to pass the time. One (short one) I like to say is the ICAO spelling alphabet. However, I always seem to get stuck on Q. I've been trying to remember "Quebec" for about 10 days, and finally remembered to look it up today.

If only my dad lived in Canada, I'd never forget that one.

1 2 3 Finish

I spent yesterday thoroughly cleaning the kitchen and then undoing the whole thing by cooking.

First Place: Fresh Strawberry Sorbet, the maiden outing for my KitchenAid ice cream maker attachment.

Second Place: Grandpa's White Cake. This strong contender missed out on first place for lack of the seven-minute frosting, which I was too lazy to make. I ate it with lime curd instead.

(Distant) Third Place: America's Test Kitchen's Everyday Light Mac and Cheese. Ugh. I'll probably finish it anyway, since I can't bear to waste that much cheese.

Judges' Choice: Strawberry Freezer Jam (made on Saturday)

Better Late Than Never

My grandmother said that one could learn to like any food. I'm sure she could, though I doubt I'll ever learn to like yellow squash.

That said, there are several foods I came to like rather late in life:

• Green olives (though I overdosed on these this week and was sick the next day, so I hope I didn't ruin it)
• Sweet potatoes
• Calamari
• Tomatoes (I've always like tomatoes, but I only recently discovered how much I LOVE tomatoes)

Leave It Alone

After keeping an assortment of colored pencils in my office for over a year (I used them for a project), I finally took the pencil box home about a month ago.

So guess what I desperately need. In my office. Right now!

If I ...

ever get married or have a child(!), I will find a friend to host a shower and I will fly my cousin Whitney here to plan, cater, and decorate the event. It will be something not to be matched by Martha, Rachel, Ina, or anyone else. If you don't believe me, check out Whitney's work.

Or, perhaps a team of W, S, and T. THAT would be formidable.

A Poll

Should Auntie K spend $65 on iTunes to completely catch up on Lost?

Better Blogging Ahead

Finally, I may be able to approach the quality and entertainment value of other blogs out there. Well, probably not, if we want to be truthful. But, I will have better subject matter to work with once the W. family moves to Bowling Green!

I know I probably won't see them as much as I imagine and all the visits won't be as heavenly as I imagine (no offense), but I'm nonetheless THRILLED that they will be so close. As Mr. Brumbaugh, may he rest in peace, would have said, being single and far from family really inhales.

Tip of the Day

I sometimes save the windowed business return envelopes that come with bills and solicitations. They work great for the occasional times I need an envelope to mail something. Just write the mailing address on a blank piece of paper or a Post-it and make sure it lines up visibly in the window.

A Question

Would you consider using marijuana for medical purposes?

It Takes All Kinds

One thing about working at a library is that you meet all sorts of people. And anthropomorphic vegetables.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

cardboard box + Rock Hard Water Putty + pvc pipe fitting = Cub Scout flag stand

39: Coincidence or Conspiracy?

39 describes both my age and the number of fading and actively-itching insect bites on my feet, arms, and legs.

Things They Don't Teach You in Library School

• You'll have to clean common work areas yourself. With supplies you bought.
• Obnoxious older men will talk to you at the reference desk, joking that you're a "cute clerk," but that your hair color [height, sex, etc.] has changed since yesterday.
• When you're buying those cleaning supplies, you should pick up hand sanitizer and tissues.
• Don't forget window cleaner as part of your supply arsenal. You can skip this item if you're OK looking at greasy headprints on the glass curtainwall directly in front of you.

In the Dark

I suppose there are some things you can do in daylight that you can't do in the dark, but lately I've crossed two things off that list: planting and weeding.

A couple of weeks ago I started planting bulbs on a Saturday afternoon, and afternoon quickly turned to night. I ended up doing 6 of them in the dark, by the light of the exterior house light.

Then last night, I arrived home at 9:30 and couldn't bear the thought of the multitude of dandelions in the yard that were all going to go to seed today. Since it's going to be several days before I can mow (and I'm the only one on the street who hasn't mowed yet), I got out my flashlight and went to town. I'm sure I hit less than 20% of the dandelions, but I felt better about things 75 minutes later. I also pulled up quite a bit of unnamed weed from a planting bed and chopped down some wild onion (which grows quite tall) . Of course, I didn't actually eliminate the dandelions, I just beheaded them. Still, not bad for a partial evening's work.

And here's the bonus--no sunburn and a nice cool breeze!

Check

Not perfect, nor even fine, but done.

Calling All My Peeps

Can you think of a good game for 4 - 11 year olds to play indoors with Matchbox cars?

Here is what I have so far:

Close Wins the Race: 3 or 4 children line up their cars (hopefully the same car or same weight car) on the starting line. Each tries to be the person to push his car closes to a taped finish line without going over the line.

Hot Wheel Hot Potato: Pass a car around a circle until the music stops.

Or, I'll take suggestions for other simple, low-prep games on the car or race theme. One I've seen is Beanbag Tire Toss, but I don't have a tire. Or beanbags.

On Being a Good Neighbor

I'll just say that it's a good idea to make friends with your neighbors. Otherwise, when you lock yourself out of the house at 9:30pm, you might have nowhere to turn.

Question, Comment, Complaint

• Does a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg taste the same as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?
• The sun is shining again.
• Actually, I can't think of anything to truly complain about right now. Shocking.

The Girls

Note that in this case, a subject's photogenic-ness is inversely proportional to her age (and weight).

At the Library

Visitors be warned that staying with Auntie K includes a trip to one or more local libraries. This activity is not optional.

The Artist

The artist poses with her untitled mixed-media creation.

Soaked

A, after 30 minutes at the Discovery Center's Water Works exhibit.

Things I Am Not

An aeronautical engineer. The Manila Folder Glider simply DOES NOT work.

BSA sized. The large shirt is too big, the medium shirt too small.

Steel willed. I did really well at kicking the Diet Coke habit for nearly two months. Stress and the siren call of McDonald's $1 soft drinks pushed me right off the wagon. I'm not even sure I care at this point.

As If I Didn't Have Enough to Worry About

Campus Crime Alert: A female visitor to campus advised XXSU Police that on Monday, February 22, at approximately 7:15 p.m., as she was walking through the University Library parking lot, two males approached her, and one of them took hold of her arm. As she pulled away, she fell to the ground and lost consciousness. When she regained consciousness, she noticed that several of her personal items were missing.

As a BYU student, I enjoyed reading campus police reports in the campus newspaper. I'm sure serious crimes occur there, but the enjoyable reports were ones that reported bicyclists receiving speeding tickets or confrontations over walking on the grass.

None of that kind of stuff around here.

Note to Self

Do not leave planning for next week's pack meeting, planning for tomorrow's den meeting, and copying out of the advancement report all for one evening. Well, not if you want to sleep that night.

Overly Attached

All the dreams I have at night share the common theme of panic or procrastination. The most recent was no different, the gist being that I had to move out of a house the next day and wasn't packed. Many things happened in the dream, but the most significant is that someone ran a load of laundry for me. When I discovered what had happened, I pulled out the lint filter on the top of the machine (actually the dryer lint filter, but this WAS a dream) and socks and washcloths and bath scrubbies (I don't own any of the latter) came out with it. Next I opened the lid, and all the contents of the washer had been partially sucked through the tiny holes in the outside of the basket.

And then the part that made this a TRUE nightmare. In the washer, I spied my red wool cable cardigan. The same red wool cable cardigan I wear nearly every day during the winter, and which L.L. Bean no longer sells. I was devastated beyond all reason, literally crying and gnashing my teeth and completely despondent over the loss of the sweater.

Hmm.

Read This Instead

I might struggle to get in more than one real post this month. Just not much of interest is happening, unless you want to hear about the cold weather or my sleep/appetite woes (and some of you get to hear about that anyway).

March, when I'm having house guests (yay!), will try to take my car to the dealer for service (ugh!), and am driving to Memphis for a day (whatever) will provide more blogging fodder.

In the meantime, check out my creative sister in law's blog. I know some of the models featured on this blog, which makes it all the more fun for me to read. And many of the projects are things even a creative dunce like me could manage.

Good and Bad

Good - A1 is back safe and sound from Haiti/DR.

Good - Two days of being snowed in meant I got to stay home and do lots of reading. And I cleaned the kitchen.

Bad - Going back to work after two days of reading (and napping) was hard. I didn't sleep well last night--not tired. And I forgot to wear a watch today.

Good - Sears is delivering a twin xl mattress set Friday, the foundation piece in my new guest room.

Bad - Sears canceled the bedframe order, so there will be no frame for the mattress set.

This Week I'm

...watching Cranford (library copy) and loving it.

...listening to The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, and don't want it to end.

...alternating between wearing my new Klogs and my new Danskos. I love the former and like the latter, but I can't wear the Klogs every day, so...

...already worn out and it's only Wednesday.

...waiting for it to ice enough that we can leave work early on Friday.

...resigned to the fact that I'll probably be at Cub Scouts every Wednesday for the foreseeable future.

...using a heating pad to warm up my bed before I climb in at night.

If

... I worked at the BYU Library, I wouldn't be at work right now.

Two Sides

I loved being able to leave my parka in the car at lunchtime yesterday. I didn't love the fact that without the parka's pockets at hand, I was back to misplacing keys and ID card.

I'm Selective

Thanks, A, but I'd rather not be Goodreads friends with someone who posed for his profile picture in an undershirt, has 165 friends and 6 books, and whose most insightful book review is "Good."

New Endeavor

No one commented on this week's promise, so I'll go ahead and tell those who don't know that I've been asked to be the ward's Cubmaster. Yup, didn't see that one coming.

I think (hope?) it will be OK once things get going, and I suppose it will soothe some of my regret about not seeing the older primary children (8-11's) now that I teach the 5 year olds. But right now, things are a mess. We're in the process of combining with another ward's pack, there isn't a pack committee of any sort, and organization doesn't appear to be the primary leaders' strong suit.

You couldn't tell from looking at my house or office, but part of me is extremely particular about records, facts, and data organization. That part is just screaming in agony right now.

Also, I'm not sure I have the enthusiasm or creativity required to be a Cubmaster, but I suppose I can fake the former and for the latter, that's why Al Gore invented the Internets.

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photo: Delano, Jack. (1942). Chicago, Illinois. Ida B. Wells Housing Project. A meeting of the Cub Scouts in the community center [photograph]. Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, FSA-OWI Collection, [reproduction number LC-USW3-000285-D DLC]. Available from American Memory.

I Like it When...

I'm the first person to use a restroom stall after cleaning.

I find out there's one more xxx left in what I thought was an empty bag.

I find a checkbook error in my favor.

I find a new author I like and s/he's written a long-running series.

A Promise

Auntie K promises to do her best to do her duty to God and her country, to help other people, and to obey the Law of the Pack.

Gulp.

Adages, or, An Update

Well Begun is Half Done. Auntie K has made her bed 4 days in a row, a nice start to one of her Resolutions.

Be Careful What You Wish For. K suspected a change in church duties was in the works, and she vainly thought she might end up as Primary songleader (the DREAM calling) or counselor in the Young Women's organization. Guess again! Starting Sunday, she'll be teaching the 5-turning-6-year olds, a large class that includes at least one disruptive (perhaps autistic?) child and one crier.

Sometimes You Can't Win. It appears the USPS lost J's Christmas stocking, though Auntie K is holding out a slim hope of its reappearance. Apparently, mail carriers in TWO states have it in for K, because today she waited a long time at the local post office to pick up her suspended mail, only to find out the mail wasn't where it was supposed to be.