Burned Again

Despite Vermont Country Store, Cracker Barrel Old Country Store and other purveyors of nostalgic products, you really can't go home again. I already knew that. After all, Storybook Land is no more.

But I have fond memories of playing Disney 45's and reading along to stories of Johnny Appleseed, The Grasshopper and the Ants, Rapunzel, and the Gingerbread Man, turning the page when Tinkerbell shook her wings. Anticipating a visit with the younger set, I went online and ordered some modern Disney Read Alongs. The Instant Classics set--Lilo & Stitch, Chicken Little, and Brother Bear, arrived this week.

It was enough to make a (near middle aged) woman cry. I don't have the heart to listen to the cd, but I read the books, and they were awful. I didn't know that Stitch is an alien, and that the Chicken Little plot involves exposed underwear and more aliens. And Brother Bear? Don't get me started on that one.

The books are long, with many big words and convoluted, ridiculous plots that jump around and make no sense. What on earth was I thinking? I wouldn't give these books to a child of any age, much less a 4 or 5 year old. My first mistake, of course, was that I have never seen any of the movies, and the text of each book is, I believe, straight from the movie, complete with original cast member voicing.

I'm still holding out a bit of hope for the Princess Collection--Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. After all, I've at least seen those movies. Or am I just burying my head in the sand?

Celebrities I'm Tired of Hearing About

• Lance Armstrong
• Brad Pitt
• Kate Gosselin
• "Bruno"

Of course, I just gave them all a little more air-time, didn't I?

Another Reason to Dislike Wal-Mart

I almost said "hate Wal-Mart," but hate is a strong word, and not a nice one, so we'll go with dislike. Plus, there might be young, impressionable readers lurking out there.

Reason: It's too easy to leave a bag of purchases on the revolving bag holder. This time, I think I left a bottle of bleach and a bottle of fantastik. I meant to take the fantastik to work, and it took weeks for me to decide to spend the money (apparently I only sweat the small stuff), and then I went and left it at the check-out.

Despite my vigilance, I've been in this situation more times than I care to remember. I suppose I could hunt down the receipt and go back to Wal-Mart, but the whole thing happened at least 10 days ago, and I'm not sure I'm up to the ordeal.

Auntie K Takes a Plane

For a homebody, I think I do a moderately impressive amount of travel. Here's what's planned for the next few months:

July - TX to play with niece and nephews and celebrate my birthday (my mother will be there also)

July - UT to play with my own auntie and my dear mother (have I told you how cold and wonderful it is in my aunt's basement where the guest room is?)

Sept - Savannah for a conference. I've been to the conference once before, and think that this time, I need to plan my meals better. I had an invite to Paula Deen's The Lady and Sons last time, but I declined--sounded like too much hassle. What do you think, should I give it a try this time?

Sept - Louisville for a conference. I would like to stay an extra day and loaf around. The traveling thing is starting to get expensive, however, so I may have to think about it. Here are some places I could visit--Embroiderers' Guild of America Museum, The Knit Nook, Schimpff's Confectionary, Museum of the American Printing House for the Blind, Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen.

Nov - San Francisco for (someone else's) conference. I figured it would be the least a sister could do, to offer to share a hotel room when her brother goes to present. I've never been to San Francisco. I have, however, read Thunderbolt House multiple times, so I feel I know what I need to know before I go. I figured I could sneak into A's session and see how real researchers sound (as opposed to most library-related quasi-researchers).

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Photo: Chicago Daily News, Inc. (1928). Miss Ella Van Huesen and an unidentified woman standing on a block next to an airplane on a field [photonegative]. Chicago Daily News negatives collection, DN-0086214. Courtesy of the Chicago Historical Society. Available from Library of Congress American Memory.

I Knew Better

Have you ever gone ahead and done something you knew you shouldn't? It's probably a daily occurrence for me, but the latest instance was making nonfat pumpkin bread. I knew that a quick bread with no fat would taste terrible, but for some idiotic reason I expected miraculous, impossible results. They didn't happen.

The other culinary experiment of the day was potato leek soup, which turned out not so bad. I used a mixture of half and half and skim milk instead of the specified nonfat half and half (talk about an oxymoron) . My one mistake was in not realizing how salty four cups of chicken bouillon would taste. I used that because I find myself possessed of not one, but two jars of bouillon. Now I know for next time, though I doubt I'll be able to afford the leeks again!