Fantasy

I know we shouldn't ask to exchange or even necessarily be released from our trials. I also know that people who seem completely unburdened aren't really so.

Nonetheless, I can't help but sometimes wish I could turn in my thornier problems for a different set. I know it wouldn't be easier, but I like to delude myself that it would.

Lost and Found

Monday was a good day for a reason besides the paddling trip. Here's the story:

The weekend of baby E's birth, I lost a beloved (expensive) ring. It was a crazy weekend of little sleep, lots of driving, and a medication mishap*.

My sweet mother and my lifesaver almost mother (Gwen) both said the ring would turn up. After searching the house and chapel thoroughly (I played the piano that Sunday at church and put the ring on the music rack while I played), I felt it was gone for good. I even bought a (much less expensive) substitute ring to try to make up for the loss.

Monday night I was looking for a sock in a pile of clean laundry on the guest bed, and there was the wayward ring, on the bed in plain sight. I'm still astounded.

The story has so many lessons for me I probably can't list them all. You have probably mastered these lessons by now, but apparently, I haven't. Here are a few:

• Trust a wise mother (or two) when she tells you something.
• Never take off a ring to play the piano at church.
• Don't run out of medication you're supposed to take daily.
• Don't let the same pile of clean laundry sit for six weeks.**

I realize that in the whole of life, I would have been just fine if the ring was lost forever, but I'm so grateful for the small mercy that it came back to me

*Google "effexor withdrawal" if you really want to know more. If not, I'll just say that it's truly awful.

**To be honest, it's a perpetual pile that I keep adding to and taking away from.

Tick Tock

What is it about one am that makes everything look so bleak?

Leaves a Bad Taste

This has turned out to be a frustrating week in which several mistakes were made. By me.

I wish I could get a do-over on this one.

On the Frontier

For the past six months at church I was a counselor in the stake Primary presidency, which meant visiting different wards 2-3 times a month to train and observe their Primary organization. I missed the children in my ward, but I loved the women I worked with and I enjoyed meeting the children and leaders in other wards. In November, the church created a stake in my town, and I assumed (based on things that were said to me) I would have the same calling in the new stake (all four of us from the former presidency are in the new stake).

Well, that isn't the case. The other three women were reinstated, and I'm now the adult Sunday School teacher in my ward (Gospel Doctrine). 

Yes, after years of teaching teenagers and children, not a person under 25 is in sight anywhere. I'm happy for the opportunity to study the scriptures, but very nervous about teaching adults. With the exception of about four months of teaching Gospel Doctrine a few years ago, I've taught children and teenagers for the past eight or nine years. 

The past Sunday was my debut, and it was rocky. I prepared extensively for the lesson, but started late because I was nervous and spent far too much time on the introduction to the lesson. The former teacher was excellent (and in the room), which just increased my anxiety. I'm hoping for a better experience this week. 

In Mourning; or, Good, Better, Best

I'm grieving over the loss of my seemingly last bit of free time. I gave up most TV watching, even my beloved British period dramas and police shows from Netflix, a few months ago. That means I also gave up knitting, though I still have hopes of finishing Baby J's stocking before Christmas (it's doable, maybe with a Closer/Major Crimes/Downton Abbey marathon after finals?). So now it's down to the last comfort. Yes, recreational reading. It's basically gone.

I marvel at the many busy women (and men) who manage to read despite all the other things they accomplish, but I apparently need more sleep than they do. I'm sadly about to return the latest Laurie R. King to the library unread, and I've borrowed the latest Mma Ramotswe book three times without finishing it.

On the other hand, I've been more consistent in my scripture reading lately, and for several weeks I've been walking two to three miles a few times a week. I'd also like to say my house is a bit cleaner these days, but that may be my imagination. And, if I stick with the school thing, I'll have another degree one of these days and perhaps be in a position to better my employment.

So, I'm trying to be positive and think about the blessings that come when we choose better things over good things. Still, please be kind if you see me shed a tear or two.

Mantra

Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue.



I'll let you know when it's sunk in.